This photo has been sitting in my head for a while, I sketched out the idea last year and forgot about it until recently. Originally, it represented the feeling of being on the outside looking in, not quite fitting. Given current events and the Stay at Home order in effect, this photo feels a bit sarcastic now. I’m so thankful for the ways God has provided during these strange times but I’m also ready to leave the house and not look back.
Where do I even begin… this session was about 10 months in the making and so much fun from start to finish! Norah reached out to me last winter while I was still living in North Carolina. We went over a few different fine art themes and Norah decided on a mermaid session! We could not have asked for better weather the day of the shoot and all of the little details fell right into place. Together we created three fine art images and captured some more traditional portraits as well – Norah rocked them all!!
Fuel to the Fire
I’ve been struggling with my creative process lately. It’s been about a month and a half since I’ve created a conceptual image but I think that I really needed that time to get recharged. I started this photo a couple of months ago and it sat on my computer until I could figure out how to finish it. It didn’t turn out exactly how I envisioned it but finishing this image is motivating me to finish the other ones that I’ve started!
On the Up and Up
So far, this is one of my favorite images created this year. It was so much fun to put together and I’m realizing that strange lighting is becoming a big motivator for me. I’m all about that light! Much of this photo was about me trying a new editing technique. I really do love putting together levitation images because I have always loved the idea of flying and dream about it often. Because of this though, levitation photos are a fallback for me when I’m feeling uninspired. Almost as if, “I can’t think of anything new and exciting… where’s a place I haven’t levitated before???”. With this image though I was transforming my comfort with levitation photos and turning it into something completely different for me which felt good. This year has been full of so much growth for me and my conceptual photography!
This image has personal significance to me because of the events that have transpired within the past couple of weeks. Since I was recently in a car accident things have been messy and getting my life back to normal has taken time. I’m at the point now where the worst is over and I’m moving forward again. It feels good!
Rain, Rain, Go Away
A few weeks ago I bought a car from my grandma, it’s a great car and one that my grandmother was sad to part with but she was in need of something different and the car she had was perfect for me. This past Friday, on my way home from work, a guy blew a red light going 65 mph and ran right into me and my grandma’s car. By the grace of God I wasn’t hurt and my car is fixable which is a relief. It was a bad situation but it turned out to be an incredible story. Through that accident I met a handful of amazing people who sat with me, hugged me, and encouraged me for an hour and a half until the entire ordeal was over and I could drive home.
Our sermon at church a couple of weeks ago was preached on Romans 8:28-39 and it tells of God’s never ending love for his people, the perfect plan he has, and the wonderful ways he works in the lives of those he has called to him. Despite what happens in my life I know that God is on his throne and is being glorified through whatever path he has set out before me. Often times I pray for God’s blessings in my life and while I can clearly see them I can also see the struggles that he allows me to go through. This past weekend has reminded me that though we might not like the rain, it’s what brings growth. Likewise, the struggles we go through are often what refine us. Sometimes I get so caught up in hoping that the rain will pass that I forget to look for the good that will come from it.
This image represents a girl whose head is so stuck in the clouds that she can’t see anything going on around her. Her clouded vision is keeping her from seeing the truth of the situation she is in.
On a side note, I made the cloud out of balloons and stuffing. I didn’t think it was going to turn out but I’m actually really happy with it!
Seeking the Light
The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.
I’ve decided to embark on another year-long photography journey. I attempted this last year and failed miserably, however, I’m determined that it will go differently this year. Each week it is my goal to create a new conceptual image and share with all of you wonderful souls! This week’s image is one that I hope encourages you to seek out the light and truth in your life.
I don’t typically share the meaning behind my images, partly because I believe everyone will see something different in my work and partly because I’m a huge recluse when it comes to sharing what I’m dealing with. This image is one of the most personal I’ve ever created, it sums up a large part of my life that is over now, as much as it saddens me. In sharing all of this personal crap I hope that some of you can relate and even find comfort. If you have no interest in getting a glimpse into my personal life now is your chance to abandoned ship while you still can… because seriously, it’s about to get real…
Recently I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal pain. Two months ago my relationship of five years came to a screeching halt and I was forced to move on from someone I once saw my future in. I went through a range of emotions hoping to find peace but only found pain. It was as if all of these thoughts and feelings were pouring out of my mind but instead of leaving me in peace and letting me heal they still lingered around me. I’ve come to see that healing is a process that requires an active and consistent effort. I’ve also come to realize that if God has shut a door in my life it’s because he has something a whole lot better in store for my future. So here I am… letting go. Letting go of a lost love. Letting go of a dream that I’ve carried inside of me for five years. Letting go of a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once held dear. Realizing that I have nothing left to give and being oddly relieved by it. I’m learning to let go and it’s the best thing I’ve ever allowed myself to do.
The behind the scenes process…
This image started out as me being totally weird in an abandoned parking lot. I wanted my pose to convey how it felt to be at a loss for words and at the end of my rope. The ground is scattered with flour because I originally thought I would be surrounded by flour instead of smoke.
I added this image to the background to get rid of the buildings and to give the photo a more secluded and organic feel. I took this photo in Montana during my road trip to Seattle earlier this year.
I knew that I wanted to incorporate smoke into my image somehow because of the way it lingers, a lot like the pain I was dealing with. I found smoke bombs at a small gas station a year ago and held onto them until the opportune moment… which ended up being for this image! I found that the green bombs produced the most smoke so I used them and changed the color of the smoke during the editing process. The wind was not working in my favor which is why the smoke is only in the left corner of the photo 😛
I haven’t talked about it much but in October I had the incredible opportunity to attend a 3-day photography convention hosted by none of than Brooke Shaden… the awe-inspiring artist who is the entire reason I began expressing myself through conceptual photography. To say that I was thrilled would have been the understatement of the century. For months it was all I could think about, I was completely consumed by the idea of being surrounded by so many other creatives like myself.
The weekend of the convention came and it was so much better than my mind could have prepared me for. I met friends who I connected with on a level unlike any other and heard testimonies from artists that still bring tears to my eyes. The entire weekend was one filled with love, laughter, and learning… so. much. learning. I learned things about photography, things about life, and most importantly things about myself. It’s been two months since I took that trip and I’m still sifting through the tides of information that met me there.
I created the image above during the second night of the convention. The subject is a dear friend and fellow photographer who represents the embodiment of knowledge and how often times it can be both beautiful and chaotic.